If you’re asking about the next World Cup, the answer changes. For 2026 in North America, England’s first match is probably against a plucky minnow like San Marino or a team you’ve never heard of. But historically, the real answer remains the same: a soggy day in Rio, 1950, against Chile. A win that felt less like a triumph and more like a wet weekend in Blackpool.
Remember: football didn’t start in 1966. It started with a team so full of themselves that they boycotted the first three tournaments and then needed a Chilean’s backside to score their first goal. Now that’s a legacy. So next time someone asks you this question, you can casually say, “June 25, 1950, versus Chile, in the rain, featuring a goal via bum.” Then sit back and watch them Google it, because they won’t believe you. They never do.
