Your cilantro is probably dirtier than your gym socks after a marathon. Submerge the whole bunch in a bowl of cold water and swish it around like you’re churning butter. Give it a good rinse—bugs love hiding in those little crevices, and nobody wants an extra protein crunch. Then grab the stems, swing the bunch over the sink like a Renaissance fair archer, and shake until your arm gets tired. If water droplets still fly, you’re not shaking hard enough. Imagine the water is your ex’s text messages—get rid of it all.
Pro tip: don’t use a salad spinner unless you want a tornado of green confetti. Cilantro is delicate, like a flapper from the 1920s. A good shake is all it needs.