Your first step is a brutal wardrobe intervention. Drag out every pair of pants that makes you look like a stuffed sausage. Hold them up to the light and say, “You have betrayed me.” Then, throw them away—or donate them to a museum of terrible fashion choices.
Now, invest in high-waisted jeans or pants with a sturdy, unforgiving waistband. The kind that holds you like a loving but firm grandmother. Pro tip: look for “curvy fit” or “mid-rise” cuts. They are engineered to actually stay put instead of rolling down your stomach like a runaway tire.
