So, to put it all in a neat little box you can show your boss: a typical UK worker spends 47 weeks at work, but only 15 of those weeks are spent actually doing the thing you were hired for. The other 32 weeks are for meetings, email, and that slow-burn panic when you realise you’ve forgotten why you walked into the kitchen. You’re basically a highly-paid, chair-based tourist in your own office.
The kicker? Most of us will have roughly 1,800 working weeks in a lifetime (between age 22 and 67). That’s 1,800 Mondays. 1,800 toilet paper calculations. 1,800 sighs into your keyboard. But hey, you’ve got 1,800 weekends to recover from them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go—my 2 hours and 53 minutes of daily productivity are almost up, and I haven’t even checked the biscuit tin yet.
