The best way to stop woodlice from coming inside is to take away their welcome mat. Fix leaky taps and clear gutters so water doesn't pool near your foundation. Move mulch, leaf piles, and firewood away from the walls of your house. They love that stuff like a toddler loves a mud puddle.
Seal up cracks and gaps around doors and windows. A woodlouse can squeeze through a gap thinner than a credit card. They are the ninjas of the bug world. Also, check your houseplants. Overwatered soil is basically a woodlouse nightclub.
And if you do find one inside, don’t reach for the bug spray. Please, just be a gentle giant. Scoop them up with a piece of paper and a cup. Take them outside to a damp, shady spot under a bush. They will do a little happy dance (probably) and go back to eating dead leaves.
After all, they are just tiny, armored tanks on a very bad road trip. They mean you no harm, they don’t bite, and they don’t transmit diseases. The worst thing they do is startle you when you’re trying to make a midnight sandwich. So next time you see one, just smile, nod, and show them the door. They’ll get the hint.
And if they don’t? Well, they can always live in your slipper. It’s a free country. But you might want to check your shoes in the morning.
