You could buy a home distiller for $100–$200. It looks like a coffee maker mated with a chemistry set. You plug it in, wait four hours, and get one gallon of distilled water. The electricity cost will make you weep, and your energy bill will look like a ransom note. But hey, you’ll never run out. Plus, you can tell your friends you “craft your own atomically pure hydration.” They will either be impressed or think you’ve joined a cult. Either way, you win.
Just don’t try the old “collect rainwater” trick. Rain isn’t distilled—it’s full of pollutants and bird opinions. You’ll end up with a humidifier that smells like a pigeon’s autobiography.
