Okay, serious moment (as serious as we can get about processed meat). Most reliable sources—and by that I mean Twitter threads from people who work at Maccies—point to a late winter or early spring window. Think February or March.
Why then? Because the Monte Christo (RIP, sweet, weird-sandwich-dream) is gone, and the Shamrock Shake fades. They need a heavy hitter to keep the drive-thru lines long. Enter: The Big Tasty.
McDonald’s about to bring back ‘best burger ever’ - ‘better than a Big
So, mark your calendar. Not with a date, but with a sticky note that says “Empty Stomach Alert.” When the breeze shifts and you smell smoky sauce and sadness, you’ll know it’s time.
What To Do While You Wait
Don’t just sit around crying into a salad. Practice your “grip technique.” Learn how to hold the burger so it doesn’t explode sauce down your white shirt. It’s a skill, people.
Also, start warming up your jaw. The Big Tasty demands sacrifice. It’s a three-napkin burger, minimum. Get yourself some extra good napkins from the drawer—the ones you save for guests. Today, you’re the guest of honour.
And finally, whisper your cravings into the McDonald’s app microphone. Does it help? Almost certainly not. But it makes you feel like you’re part of the process.
