Don’t worry. Someone in your group chat already screenshotted it. Scroll up. There it is—right after the meme about your fantasy team. If you’re not in a group chat, you’re living dangerously. Join one. Or just ask your neighbor. They have a flag on their house. They know.
And if you’re still stumped? Text your dad. He’ll say, “Let me check my email from the alumni association.” Then he’ll call you back 15 minutes later with the time and a weather report. Dads are basically human sports schedules.
The One Exception
If the game is against Ohio State, the time is almost always noon. Every year. Like clockwork. Because the Big Ten wants us all to suffer in the early morning light. It’s tradition. It’s painful. It’s glorious.
