Here is the cheat code: Assume Shania starts at 8:50 PM, and act accordingly. Arrive at the venue by 7:15 PM. This gives you time to park, navigate the human gridlock, buy a forty-dollar foam finger that says “Let’s Go Girls,” and find your seat before the lights dim. Do not test Shania. I once saw a man miss the opening of “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” because he was buying a pretzel. He sat down to the sound of a crowd screaming and never emotionally recovered.
Remember: Shania Twain is a timeless force of nature. She doesn’t wait for anyone, not even you. But if you get there on time, you’ll witness a woman who defies age, gravity, and the laws of physics as she leaps across a stage in six-inch heels. Be early, be ready, and for the love of all that is country-pop, don’t be the person who asks “what time does she go on?” at 9:30 PM.
