The crown for the longest war goes to a conflict that is still technically ongoing. It’s called the Three Hundred and Thirty-Five Years' War—and yes, that name is just as ridiculous as it sounds.
Who fought it? The Netherlands and the Isles of Scilly (a tiny archipelago off the coast of England). Imagine a war where nobody actually fought, and everyone kind of forgot about it for centuries. That’s your winner.
The Absurd Backstory
It all kicked off during the English Civil War in the 1650s. The Dutch were allied with one side, and the Scilly Isles were a royalist stronghold. A Dutch admiral showed up, demanded reparations, and when no one paid up, he declared war.
Then the Royalists surrendered to the other side, the Dutch sailed away, and… everyone just moved on. No battles. No casualties. Just a really awkward, un-dropped mic.
For 335 years, the two nations were technically at war. Which sounds stressful, but honestly, it was more like a forgotten subscription you never canceled.
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