Officially? Purple is a color between red and blue on the color wheel that doesn’t correspond to a single wavelength of light. Unofficially? It’s a snail-blood tribute to dead emperors that your brain hallucinates because it’s too lazy to process conflicting signals.
It’s also the color of bruises, grapes, and the band Deep Purple. It’s the only color that can make a president look either distinguished (purple tie) or cartoonish (purple suit). It’s a lie we all agree on, which is basically the definition of society anyway.
So the next time someone asks you what purple is, just smile, point at a lavender field, and say: “It’s a royal conspiracy invented by sea snails and a teenager who messed up a chemistry experiment.” Then watch them stare at a grape like it’s a cosmic anomaly. You’re welcome.
