Then came the Great Toupee Incident. Jason had been secretly wearing a toupee for three years. He thought it was undetectable. But at a local Renaissance Faire, Bryn’s friend—an enthusiastic falconer—let her bird loose. The bird, a hawk named “Sir Flaps-a-Lot,” swooped down and mistook Jason’s toupee for a wounded animal.
What happened on the fishing trip? The mystery of Uncle Bryn and Jason
The hawk lifted the toupee off Jason’s head and flew it to the top of a jousting tent. Jason stood there, bald and betrayed, as a crowd of knights and wenches pointed and laughed. Bryn tried to apologize, but Jason was convinced she had trained the bird. “You sabotaged my public hair,” he hissed. She did not, in fact, train the bird, but she also didn’t not laugh hysterically for ten minutes.
The Karaoke Finale
The final straw was karaoke night. Jason chose “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion, a song he had practiced in the shower for months. He was terrible. Like, rat-tail-sweater-on-a-dog terrible. Bryn, in a moment of playful solidarity, jumped on stage to “harmonize”—but she accidentally grabbed the wrong microphone.
That microphone was set to a comedy special soundboard the DJ had forgotten to turn off. Every time Jason hit a high note, the soundboard played a fart noise. Not just any fart noise—a wobbly, prolonged fart noise that echoed off the walls. Jason’s face went from Celine Dion to Charles Manson in five seconds flat.
