Check out the Whitechapel Gallery nearby. It’s free, and you can wander around looking at things like a single potato on a pedestal and say, “Hmm, the profound isolation of root vegetables.” Nobody will challenge you. This is your moment to become a pretentious genius for zero cost.
If you feel overwhelmed, just go to the gift shop and buy a postcard of a potato. It makes a great conversation starter for people who hate you.