Let’s start with the smell. You’re hit with a tsunami of vanilla and pine. It’s like Christmas and a spa had a baby, but that baby is also a car mechanic. Right next to the scented candles are industrial-grade cleaning chemicals. My brain short-circuited. Do I want to relax or scrub my driveway?
Pro tip: Don’t sniff the “Moonlit Jasmine” candle while holding the drain cleaner. Your nose will have an identity crisis. I nearly bought a tub of “Lavender Bliss” stain remover. I still don’t know if I was supposed to wash my clothes or my soul.
The home section is a wild beast. One minute you’re looking at velvet cushions. The next, you’re staring at a plastic palm tree that’s six feet tall. It’s aggressively beige and neon pink. Who is buying this? I asked myself. Then I saw a grandma loading three of them into her trolley. No judgment. Respect, honestly.
The Garden section: A concrete jungle
If you wander to the back, you hit the garden area. It’s a concrete jungle of almost real plants. There are gnomes with angry faces. There are solar-powered frogs that glow at night. It’s like a fever dream of a British countryside. I nearly bought a flamingo. Not a real one. A plastic, glitter-covered one. The kind that screams “I have no HOA.”
The lighting is aggressive. Those harsh shop lights make everything look either amazing or terrifying. A cheap lamp looks like a masterpiece. A £5 rug looks like a luxury carpet. Then you get it home and realize it’s the texture of a doormat. But hey, for a tenner, you take the risk.
Take a sneak peak inside The Range in Croydon - Croydon Advertiser
