No PowerPoint presentations. No “where do you see yourself in five years?”. This is about leading 85 million Anglicans and running a 12th-century castle as your office. Fancy a commute?
The shortlist is secret. Pure, delicious speculation. But we have clues. And those clues involve some wonderfully British chaos.
The Dark Horse: The Vicar Who Broke Twitter
Imagine a vicar who posts meme sermons. One candidate, Reverend Tim, is a rising star. He once live-streamed a christening where a duck waddled through the font. The video got 500,000 views.
His slogan? “Love thy neighbour. And thy wifi password.” Critics say he’s too hip. Supporters say he’s the only one who can explain the Holy Trinity without putting millennials to sleep. He’s a total wildcard.
The Scholar: The One Who Reads Aramaic for Fun
Then there’s Dr. Sarah. She wrote a 900-page book on the Book of Revelation. She can also juggle. Seriously. The Crown Nominations Commission loves a multi-talent.
She famously debated a secular philosopher for six hours and ended by asking about his dog. “Theology is about connection,” she said. Her office smells like old paper and liquorice. Very niche. Very Archbishop-like.
