After school, the war moves to parks like Roundhay or Woodhouse Moor. Reds and Blues don’t actually fight—they just exist loudly near each other. One group will start chanting a football song, and the other will respond by playing a tinny speaker at full volume. It’s less a conflict and more a competition to see who can annoy the most pensioners.
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I saw a group of Blues once try to claim a bench by putting a single school bag on it. A Red kid immediately sat cross-legged on the ground in front of them, eating a packet of crisps. No words were exchanged, but you could feel the tension in the air, like a silent pizza delivery that nobody ordered.
Uniform Wars: The Fashion Battle
Let’s talk about the uniforms, because this is where the war gets fashionably ridiculous. Red schools tend to wear burgundy or maroon—a color that, let’s be honest, makes you look a bit like a wine cork. Blue schools opt for navy or royal blue, which either looks sharp or like you’re about to work at a bank. Neither side admits the other looks good, but secretly, they all spend twenty minutes in front of the mirror.
The ultimate insult is when a Red kid wears a blue hairband, or a Blue kid has a red backpack. It’s like wearing your rival’s shirt to a derby. Friendships have ended over a single wrong-colored shoelace. One time, a teacher accidentally wore a red and blue striped scarf, and the entire class groaned in unison. “Pick a side, miss,” someone shouted. She didn’t even look up.
