Ever tried watching a Red Sox game on MLB.TV? Hilarious. You’ll get a blackout screen if you live within a 500-mile radius of Fenway. It’s a joke, but it’s our joke.
The schedule teases you. "Watch live on NesN!" it says. Then you check your cable package. Wait, do I even get NesN? Spoiler: if you moved two towns over, you might not.
This creates a funny desperation. You’ll text your friend in Maine: "Hey, can I borrow your login?" The answer is always "yes," but with side-eye.
The "Fox Saturday Afternoon" Weirdness
Once a month, the Red Sox get yanked onto national TV. Fox shows up. Your cozy NesN broadcast gets replaced by Joe Buck’s voice. It’s like your quiet pub suddenly becomes a loud sports bar.
But here’s the kicker: those games start at 4:05 PM or 7:15 PM. Not your normal times. It messes with your internal clock. You’ll find yourself eating dinner at 3 PM like a goblin.
The schedule also loves a doubleheader. Two games in one day. That’s 18 innings of potential magic—or misery. The first game at 1:35 PM, the second at 7:10 PM. Your couch becomes your home.
