Let’s be honest: the real reason traffic slows to a crawl isn’t the police tape. It’s the human curiosity. We’re all nosey parkers at heart. I swear I saw someone twist their neck so far, they looked like an owl trying to read a menu from across the street.
“What’s that? A broken-down lorry? A rogue sheep? A man arguing with a traffic cone?” Your brain invents a whole soap opera. Spoiler: it’s usually just a slightly sad-looking van with its hazard lights on, blinking like it’s apologising to everyone.
And then there’s that one bloke who has to do a U-turn. You watch him do a six-point turn in a space meant for a bicycle. It’s like watching a hippo try to do ballet. We all applaud internally when he finally gets stuck on the verge.
The Snack Economy
Here’s where the real drama unfolds. A police incident on the A3 triggers an instant inventory check. You pat your pockets. Do you have a half-eaten bag of crisps? A lonely wine gum stuck to the receipt? It’s a survival test.
A3 London bound crash at Wisley causes five-mile delays for motorists
I saw a woman in the car next to me pull out a entire platter of cheese and crackers. I’m not kidding. She had grapes. I felt like a caveman with my single, melted Malteser. Pro tip: always keep a secret chocolate bar in the glovebox for emergencies like this.
The queue becomes a weird, temporary community. You make eye contact with the guy in the van. He shrugs. You shrug back. A silent pact of “we’re in this together, mate.” It’s like a flash mob, but lazier and with more road rage.
