You sit in a chair that looks like it belongs in a spaceship. The optician—who is usually disarmingly cheerful—asks you to read letters, then shows you some “is it better here, or here?” options. Honestly, the worst part is the puff of air that checks your eye pressure, and even that lasts one second. The rest is just staring at a hot air balloon or a red barn while they peek inside your eyes.
Here’s a pro tip: don’t wear contact lenses to the appointment. You’ll need to take them out anyway, and doing that in the waiting room while trying not to drop one on the carpet is a skill you don’t want to test. Also, bring your reading glasses if you use them, and any old glasses you still have lying around—they compare them to see how much your vision has changed. Yes, even that pair from 2012 that makes everything look like a watercolour painting.
A Little Irony to Keep You Going
You know what’s funny? Everyone over 60 eventually needs reading glasses. It’s basically a law of physics, like gravity or the fact that socks disappear in the wash. Yet so many people put off the test because they’re scared of the result, or they think it’s just “normal ageing.” Newsflash: losing your vision isn’t normal—it’s just common. And common doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
Who Qualifies for Free NHS Eye Tests at Home? – The Mobile Opticians
The NHS eye test is also a great excuse to annoy your family. You can ring your daughter and say, “Darling, I need you to drive me to the optician, my eyes are terribly bad.” She’ll think you’re frail and sweet, then you can treat her to a coffee afterwards. It’s a guilt-free way to spend an hour, and you come out with either better vision or the smug satisfaction that your eyes are still better than your spouse’s.
