Social interaction becomes a hilarious disaster. You try to tell your partner that you’re fine, but it comes out as: “I’m… sniff … f-f-f-fine… ACHOO!” They hand you a tissue. You blow your nose with the sound of a dying goose. Romance is officially dead until November.
On a video call for work, your boss asks if you’re okay. You say, “It’s just the Red Alert,” but your eyes are redder than the alert level itself. Everyone on the call assumes you’ve had a rough weekend. You don’t correct them. Let them think you were out partying. It’s more dignified than admitting you were defeated by a blade of grass.
The Antihistamine Gambit
You pop a pill. You wait. Nothing happens. You pop another. Still nothing. Eventually, you take a third and wonder if you’ve just created a new strain of super-pollen that’s now immune to your medication. The truth is, during a Red Alert, antihistamines are more like polite suggestions than actual solutions.
Met Office issues red alerts for very high pollen levels as Britain
It’s a gamble. You either feel slightly drowsy and less itchy, or you stay sharp and suffer like a hero. Most of us choose the drowsy route and then attempt to operate heavy machinery, like a TV remote. It’s fine. We’ll just nap on the couch and let the pollen win for today.
