Like a good park bench or a reasonable cup of tea, the Muswell Hill M&S sticks to a solid routine. From Monday to Saturday, the doors swing open at 8:00 AM and gently close at 8:00 PM. It’s not wild. It’s not a nightclub. It’s a grocery store where adults go to have feelings about a three-cheese pasta salad.
If you arrive at 7:55 AM, you’ll see a small crowd of determined shoppers, each one doing that subtle “is it open yet?” shuffle. It’s a bit like the starting line of a marathon, but the prize is a Percy Pig baguette and no one is wearing athletic gear.
For the love of all that is holy, do not roll up at 7:58 PM with a list the length of your arm. The staff will smile, but their eyes will say, “We have already mentally clocked out and are dreaming of a G&T.”
Sunday: The Sacred Day of Gentle Grazing
Sundays are different. They’re softer, slower, and smell vaguely of roasted potatoes. On a Sunday, the Muswell Hill M&S opens at 11:00 AM and closes at 5:00 PM. That’s right—a full six hours of shopping, but only after you’ve finished your second coffee and argued with the crossword.
This is prime time for what I call “The Holiday Sandwich Crisis.” You know the one. You’re hosting lunch, and you suddenly realise you have no ciabatta, no olives, and the only cheese you own is a block of cheddar that looks like it’s been in a fight. The 11:00 AM start is a gentle nudge to not panic before the church bells stop ringing.
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Pro tip: Arrive at 10:45 AM and join the queue of people who are pretending to read their phones but are actually staring at the automatic doors like they’re about to perform a miracle. It’s a community moment. Embrace it.
