Every review has a secret code. If they mention the “atmosphere,” they mean the lighting is too dim to read the menu. Or too bright—like a hospital cafeteria.
If they say “authentic,” they’re bragging they’ve been somewhere cooler than you. But one review used “authentic” to describe a plastic tablecloth.
And the phrase “generous portions”? That usually means you’ll be in a food coma for three days. Worth it.
LALÏ CAFE, London - Restaurant Reviews, Photos & Phone Number - Tripadvisor
The Staff: Heroes or Villains?
Reviews paint the staff as either angels or ninjas. One server was called “the speediest human alive.” They brought bread before you sat down.
Other reviews claim the staff “vanished like magic.” One guy wrote: “I waved my napkin for help. A waiter waved back. Then left.” That’s a mime, not a waiter.
But the best detail? A reviewer said a waiter recommended the “mystery special.” When asked what it was, he winked and said, “Fate.” The diner ordered it. It was chips and ketchup. Fate is delicious.
