The long-range forecasts—which, let’s be honest, are about as reliable as a horoscope for Leos—suggest a mild, wet winter. The El Niño Southern Oscillation is doing its usual dance, and the Jet Stream is being a moody teenager, pushing cold air away from the UK. This means our best bet for snow is a cold snap in late January or February, when the stars align, and a bit of Arctic air sneaks past the M25.
But don’t book that sleigh ride just yet. The most likely scenario is rain, followed by slightly colder rain that hints at being snow, followed by disappointment. The real snow will probably fall on a random Tuesday at 2:47 AM, when no one is looking, and vanish by the time your alarm goes off. It’s the weather equivalent of a ghost story told by a man who has had one too many pints of bitter.
London snow maps show when city may be hit by freezing blast | Weather
How to Survive the Great Snow Hunt
If you want to actually see snow this year, stop looking at the sky and start manipulating the laws of probability. Book a train ticket somewhere north of Watford—anywhere that doesn’t have a Pret A Manger on every corner has a statistically higher chance of proper snow. Alternatively, buy a new pair of wellies. The universe will, as a cruel joke, make sure it doesn’t snow the day your boots arrive, but the intent is what counts.
And if the white stuff does fall? Remember the Surprising Snow Fact: British people love snow for exactly 34 minutes. For that half-hour, we are all children, building wobbly snowmen and throwing pathetic, powdery snowballs that disintegrate in mid-air. Then we remember we have to commute, the gritters run out of grit, and the entire city becomes a YouTube compilation of people falling over on icy pavements.
So, will it snow in London this year? Yes, but it will be the most London version of snow possible. It will be half-hearted, slightly late, and will cause a completely disproportionate amount of chaos. Keep a scarf handy, keep your expectations low, and for the love of all that is holy, do not buy the bread and milk in a panic. The pigeons are watching, and they’re judging you.
