You get your box home. You open it. You realize the instructions are pictograms that look like a game of charades played by aliens. You lose a screw. You find a screw. You put the door on backwards.
You swear. You cry a little. You finish at 2 a.m.
And then you look at your new KALLAX shelf. It’s crooked, but it’s yours. You survived Sheffield Road. You survived the Tinsley roundabout. You survived the entire IKEA journey. And that, my friend, is better than any furniture warranty. You are a champion. Now, pass the Daim cake.