Do not, under any circumstances, greet a cat the way you greet your best friend. No loud “HELLO KITTY!” No scooping them up for a bear hug. To a cat, that is hooligan behavior. It’s the equivalent of someone bursting into your bathroom while you’re washing your hands and yelling, “GOOD MORNING!”
Another no-no: the full-frontal stare-down with a side of “pspspsps.” “Pspsps” only works on cartoon cats. In real life, it sounds like you’re summoning a demonic squirrel. Instead, use a soft, low voice. Say something boring like, “Oh, it’s you.” Cats love boredom. Boredom means safety. I once whispered “sup” to a stray on my porch, and he stayed for two hours. He never made eye contact, but we understood each other.
