Pick up a stalk and give it a gentle bend. A fresh, happy asparagus should snap with a crisp CRACK—like breaking a green pencil. That’s the sound of victory.
If it just bends like a wet noodle without breaking, you’ve got a problem. That stalk is full of water and sadness. It’s given up on life.
Feel the surface, too. Fresh asparagus is smooth and slightly waxy. If it feels tacky, sticky, or slimy to the touch, that’s bacteria throwing a rave. No one wants rave bacteria.
