No Trump topic is complete without a conspiracy. Some say the White House scale is broken and permanently set to “244.” Others insist he wears a weighted vest to make him appear more formidable, like a political Thanos. My personal favorite theory: he actually weighs 300 pounds, but the number is hidden in the 25th Amendment somewhere. Ridiculous? Yes. Hilarious? Also yes.
Then there’s the tinfoil hat crowd who claim his weight is a national security secret. If Russia found out his true BMI, they’d know he couldn’t run up a flight of stairs—and that would erode our global dominance. Actually, that might be the most believable theory yet.
