To get the full state pension: work (or qualify for credits) for 35 years. Want a partial pension? At least 10 years or you get nothing. It’s simple, except for the small print that reads like a dystopian novel. The average person in the UK currently retires with about £9,000 a year from the state. That’s roughly the cost of a mid-range holiday and a yearly Netflix subscription. Luxurious? No. Existentially terrifying? A little.
So keep working, pay your NI, and maybe marry someone younger who’ll keep you in the lifestyle you’ve been lying about on Instagram. Or just hope you win the lottery. Honestly, that’s a better plan than relying on the state pension to buy you a yacht. But hey, at least now you know the magic number: 35 years of something. Ignorance was never this expensive—or this hilarious.
