Yes, you were probably thinking of the London Underground—which locals call the Tube, not the subway. That network has 272 stations and 250 miles of track. But here’s the irony: the London Underground isn’t even the only rapid transit system in the UK. Not by a long shot. You’ve also got the Glasgow Subway—a cute little loop with 15 stations that’s been running since 1896. Locals call it the “Clockwork Orange” because it’s a single circular line and, well, the trains are orange. So in terms of actual metro systems, the UK has exactly two: London’s Tube and Glasgow’s Subway. Two. That’s it. Rob was way off.
But wait—what about the Tyne and Wear Metro in Newcastle? That’s not a subway; it’s a light rail system that runs partly underground, partly on the surface. Brits get weirdly pedantic about this. I once watched a transport enthusiast nearly burst a blood vessel explaining that the Tyne and Wear Metro is “not a true subway because it uses overhead wires instead of a third rail.” Honestly, you can’t win. If you want to feel smug at a dinner party, just say the UK has two and a half metro systems and watch people squirm.
The Secret Subways You’ve Never Heard Of
Now, here’s where it gets fun. Beyond the Tube and Glasgow’s little orange loop, there are obscure, forgotten subways scattered across the country. Liverpool once had a grand underground railway called the Liverpool Overhead Railway—nicknamed the “Dockers’ Umbrella”—but it was demolished in the 1950s. Meanwhile, Manchester’s Metrolink has a tiny underground section in the city centre, but it’s basically a tram taking a brief, unglamorous nap in a tunnel. Oh, and there’s the London Post Office Railway—a 6.5-mile underground track that carried mail from 1927 to 2003. It’s now a tourist attraction, and yes, I’m still bitter I missed the last ride by three years.
London Subway Underground Poster | Harry Beck's Tube Map | Vintage
But the crown for weirdest goes to Kingsway Tram Tunnel in London—an abandoned subterranean tram line that ran under the Strand. It was last used in 1952, and today it’s mostly a party venue for hipsters with a thing for concrete. So if you’re keeping score at home: the UK has two active rapid transit subways, one dead one (the Post Office Railway), and a bunch of tram tunnels that are either derelict or hosting ironic raves. Oh, and thousands of pedestrian underpasses. Thousands. I tried to count them on Google Maps once and gave up after twenty minutes because I started feeling claustrophobic.
