Let’s talk about the name. “Old Market Hotel” sounds like it should be a creaky, haunted inn from the 1600s, complete with a ghostly barmaid and ale that tastes like regret. Instead, you get a gloriously modern building that looks like it was assembled from a giant Lego kit for sensible adults. It’s right next to the actual Old Market shopping centre, which is a shiny, modern mall where the only thing “old” is the pensioner trying to find the M&S food hall.
The real kicker? This Premier Inn is actually inside the Old Market development. You can practically roll out of bed and into a Cineworld or a Nando’s. It’s dangerously convenient. I’m convinced the hotel was designed by a genius who knew that after a long day of pretending to enjoy medieval history, you’d want a cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky cheeky glass of wine without crossing a road.
The Famous “Hypnos” Bed: A Throne of Comfort
Now, you’ve heard the legends. The Premier Inn bed is famous. It’s the Hypnos—a name that sounds like a Greek god of naps. I swear, this bed is scientifically engineered to make you forget every bad life choice you’ve ever made. The pillows are like sleeping on a cloud that’s been stuffed with marshmallows and pure, unadulterated satisfaction.
Here’s a surprising fact: Hypnos is a real British bed company, and they supply beds to the Queen. That’s right—you are sleeping on a mattress that is royalty-adjacent. I like to imagine the Queen herself, lying in Buckingham Palace, thinking, “I wish I had an in-room kettle and a view of a Herefordshire car park.” You do. You win.
