The Blue Jays, meanwhile, are the plucky underdogs who have to actually try. They don’t have a $300 million payroll; they have a bunch of guys who grew up playing ball in the snow. Their star player, Vladimir Guerrero Jr., looks like he could bench-press a moose, but he also has the emotional maturity of a Labrador puppy who just saw a tennis ball. And here’s the hilarious kicker: Toronto is the only team in MLB that plays in a country where the national anthem is sung in two languages. So when the Dodgers take the field, they have to stand through “O Canada” twice—in English and French. The Dodgers’ pitchers are already grumbling about the extra two minutes of standing, claiming it throws off their rhythm. I half-expect them to demand a trade.
Surprising fact #1: The Dodgers have a curse. No, really.
You think I’m joking? The Dodgers haven’t won a World Series in a full 162-game season since 1988. They won the COVID-shortened 2026 season, but let’s be real—that ring came with a free face mask and a Zoom parade. There’s a guy in Los Angeles who still shines a flashlight at the sky every game, hoping to break the “Vin Scully ghost curse.” Today, that guy is going to need a bigger flashlight, because the Blue Jays have a secret weapon: polar air conditioning. The Dodgers are from 75-degree Los Angeles; Toronto today is 55 degrees with a wind chill that makes your bones ache. By the third inning, Mookie Betts will be wearing a parka over his batting gloves, and Clayton Kershaw’s curveball will be so stiff it might actually bounce off the plate.
