So, do cherries bloat you? Yes, but only if you treat them like an unlimited buffet. A modest handful is fine. A bushel is a gastrointestinal hostage situation. The good news is that the bloat is temporary, and the health benefits—antioxidants, vitamin C, and that smug feeling of eating fruit—are worth the temporary puffiness.
Just remember: if you’re heading to a date or a job interview, maybe skip the pre-event cherry binge. Save them for a night when you’re home alone, in sweatpants, and you don’t mind sounding like a swamp when you move. You are not alone. We have all been there, clutching our bellies, whispering, “But they were just so red and perfect.”
Now go forth, eat responsibly, and if anyone asks why you’re rubbing your stomach, just tell them you’re “processing antioxidants.” They’ll be too confused to ask follow-up questions.
