Some of these sub-£100k houses look like they time-traveled from 1985. You’ll find avocado bathroom suites, polystyrene ceiling tiles, and a fireplace that is definitely hiding asbestos. Surprising fact: The UK’s cheapest street is in Shildon, County Durham, where the average house price is £27,000. That’s less than a used caravan.
What does a £27k house look like? It looks like a house for ants. You might have to duck through doorways, and the second bedroom is a glorified wardrobe. But it’s yours, and you can paint it any colour that makes your neighbours raise one eyebrow.
Don’t expect central heating. Expect a very enthusiastic storage heater that sounds like a helicopter landing. Or just wear a jumper indoors from October to May. It builds character, or hypothermia—same thing, really.
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Sure, the house is £90k. But the roof might cost £15k to replace. And the wiring looks like it was installed by a drunken spider. Always get a survey. If the surveyor says “This house has soul,” that means the walls are made of biscuits.
You also need to check for subsidence. That’s where the house slowly sinks into the earth, like a regretful birthday balloon. Cheap houses often sit on land that moves more than a politician’s promise.
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Still, there’s a silver lining: no stamp duty on properties under £125k. The government basically pats you on the back and says, “Good luck, you lunatic.”
