You take your masterpiece home. You must crank your oven to maximum heat—no “medium,” no “fan-assisted hugging mode”—you want a blazing inferno that makes your smoke alarm do a dramatic monologue. Pull it out when the cheese bubbles like a witch’s cauldron. The bottom should be crisp, not soggy, because we’re not animals.
And here’s a secret: eat it while standing over the kitchen sink. That’s the official dining protocol for Asda custom pizza. It adds a hint of rebellious shame that enhances the flavor by 40%. Trust me—I did the science (I ate three of them in one week).
A final, ridiculous plea
So next time you’re in Asda, skip the pre-packaged “Italian style” sadness. Walk to that counter. Become a pizza god. Spill some sweetcorn, sneeze on the pepperoni, and live your truth. Just don’t put pineapple AND anchovies together. That’s not a pizza; that’s a war crime.
Now go forth. Eat. Maybe call your cardiologist first—for entertainment purposes.
