The first thing you hit is the Drive-Through Reserve, and it is pure, unfiltered chaos. You’re in your little hatchback, and a bison the size of a minivan is staring at your side mirror like it owes him money. Your kids are screaming, “Mum, he’s licking the car!” while you’re frantically trying to lock the doors.
There’s a herd of zebras that look like they’re wearing fancy pyjamas, judging your driving. Then, a rhino just stands there, looking at you like you’re the main attraction. It’s a humbling experience when a fifteen-hundred-pound animal is more chill than you are about the traffic jam.
Don’t even get me started on the monkeys. They climb on your roof and peel the rubber trim off your windscreen like it’s a fancy appetiser. You can’t get annoyed, though, because they have the smug look of someone who just unlocked a new achievement: “Human Mildly Inconvenienced.”
